am i crazy?!

So im slowing down on my blogging im truely sorry.  i guess a lot hasnt really been happening to keep my mind going these past couple weeks.  i think i need to fix that.  so what am i doing?  im doing some crazy driving!  yeap, im going to ottawa today, actually in about an hour.  Im going to ottawa to get alli.  so tomorrow night after a dinner party thing, im leaving ottawa and bringing alli with me.  then on saturday afternoon, her and i are going to london, to meet up with her brother.  then were going to spend the afternoon and evening with him and come home from there on sunday afternoon.    actually i hope not to spend that long there on sunday so we can get home and veg with lisa for a while.  hopefully while im in london too i'll get a hold of rob, cause its kinda stupid to go all that way and not see him for a drink or something.  so then on monday we leave hamilton and go back to ottawa, but this time, were going to take my jen jen and stay in ottawa for a few days.  how many days i have no idea.   but jen was planning to go to ottawa this week because shes got a week off and the person she was going with isnt now.  so it works out pretty well i would say.  well i guess for jen lol and alli.  it'll be nice though get to show yet another person the hershey chocolate factory :o)  and  the mint and parliments and all that.    lets see what else.  last night i went go-karting.  got the suckiest go kart number 5.  came in last lol.. of course.  lisa was makin fun of me as we got home.  tellin me how i play it all calm and cool go-karting but then let me out on the open road and im a menace.  lol  i think shes the second person to call me that this week.    im thinkin i should probably eat something before i leave but i guess its too late now, ill probably have to do that pit stop.  oh well its all good.  anyways.  i'll try and write stuff from alli tomorrow since i have the day to myself. 

my weekend...

lets see where should i start?  how about friday!  friday, i went to moms and helped her prep some food for her company.  came home washed my car.  what took me two hours and i didnt even vacuum it.  although it needs it badly!  but i have a central vac and it doesnt reach to the car.  so after i washed my car and it looked really nice :)  i went back to moms.  why?  because i wanted the food i helped her make hehe so at about 7:30 i went and i picked up jason and brought him to moms as well and it was really nice.  i really miss that boy!  then mom and her friends were talking about relationships and stuff and ask me how long i have known jason and they figured out 7 years.  thats just crazy!  its been 7 years since i was in grade 10 too!  god how time flys!  so then i wined and dined jason and took him home on my way home around 9...maybe 10pm.  short but sweet time with him i guess.  then lets see came home talked to rob and then went to bed at about 1:15am.  then saturday.  crazy shopping day!  went to old navy and bought a pair of pants, then went to crappytire and got some awesome tikki torches and patio lanterns :o)  my backyard is lookin awesome now!  so lisa and i pretty much spent the rest day outside.  then laura came over and dragged me to her co-workers party.  one might think cool.  except the co-worker is a lesbian and there wasnt any men at this party and! they did kareoke to cher pretty the 2 hours we were there!  lol  what is with gay people and cher?  i dunno.    so then i came home around 8:30 and lis and i sat outside with our tikki torches on and just talking and that was nice.  sunday..  woke up at 6:30am cause dad dropped the dogs off.  mom and dad went to huntsville again to look at cottages.  they put an offer in on one and it goes through tomorrow so lets hope everyone!  can soon go vacationing for free!  hehe YAY!  'dept that we'll have to canoe our way to it but thats ok hehe.  mom and dad say it was really nice and worth it.   so through the day i took maddie to crappytire with me.  we had to get a couple more torches, oil and a rake.  then we went to super pet.  she loved that!  came home and dropped her off.  went out and got jen her alcohol for her party this evening and got some stuff at the grocery store for dinner.  mom and dad came for dinner and to pick up the dogs.  i made a greek salad, a pasta salad, bruchetta, and smoked chicken on the bbq.  it was all pretty tastey.  then i went to jens party.  lol that was funny.  it waws a non exsistant party, but it was nice a few people that decided to show up, watched tv and stuff.  it was actually kinda nice cause i wasnt in the mood to really party tonight.  too tired.   so now its 2:10am and im thinkin i should go to bed.  maybe have some awesome dream again like i did last night.  it was so nice, i was so happy in my dreams.  makes me kinda wanna cry.  oh well i wont.  ill got to bed now.  night!

I AM CANADIAN!

What to blog about...  well i guess theres something that really bugs me.  its the whole canadian/american thing.  i was talking to some and he kept saying "you americans"  and i kept insisting that I AM CANADIAN!  i refuse to be catagorized as an american.  and im sorry to an american if u read this (theres always exceptions to the rule)  but i really do not like americans.  this person really gets under my skin about it to.  keeps telling me how canadians suck and americans and stuff are better.  i feel like puncin the guy out.  of course i dont think hes been to either to see the difference.    As much as we bitch about our govournment and the people around us, this country is pretty great, we have everything we'd ever want and more.  nature, foods of all ethnic backgrounds, probably just around the corner from where u live, choice to do or not to do, healthcare,  freedom to walk or go to anywhere u want, no tolls between our provinces.  no matter how bad your life gets think about how much worse it could be.   anyways, i guess what im saying is i dont think im above or better than anyone else and dont like anyone who does, unless ur most americans then i'll take any canadian over u. (sorry)  Its one thing that really bothers me.

ok also *WARNING*  i swear its national tele marketer time.  If someone call you house and you say hello and and they say hello like they don't hear HANG UP QUICK! DON'T GET SUCKED INTO THE EVIL TELEMARKETER EVILNESS!!  I think i've had 6 calls in the last two days, and thats not including the stupid answering machine ones.  you know the ones with the pre recorded hi this is blah blah blah.  they're driving me mad, can u tell i just got one?  hehe   

boys..

So today was a semi eventful.  i basically drove from dundas to burlington to ancaster to hamilton putting up my lil catering flyers at grocery store where i could.  (note to all fortinos do not have a bulletin boards)  so that was about 2 and a half hours of my time.  came home, did stuff around the house, watched tv had some convos with people on msn and then went out with timmy for the evening.  decided the topic of the day in a weird way, weird being that everyone was kinda talkin to me about it, was boys and girls.  Why do we not get the oppisite sex?  i think in this area i can read people pretty well.  except men.  they have the curve ball effect with me.  u think ur on the right track then they totally change direction on you.  and i must admit somehow its based on sex lol.  and no i cant really explain that one.  maybe i can.  maybe it goes a little like, ur a great friend, but if ur not gonna give the guy sex after like seeing them twice it kinda dwindles down to oh u'll be around when i want u to be.  maybe on doesnt have to do with the other but, i dont care im sayin whats on my mind lol.  and i guess it has to do with guys.  :op i hate the games i really do.  then u find someone who u love for the mind but theres just something missing and i find theres something wrong with me because i think that.  and its sooooo  frustrating!  Like here i am 23 years old, my last boyfriend was in highschool, and well was jason actually a boyfriend? lol   one of my best friends yes.   so its been 6 years.  6 long years, and these people come in and out of my life and im still alone.  then i start thinking theres something wrong with me.  maybe im just afraid.  or maybe im just like everyone else and just havent found that "one"  i dunno, but i know i hate it.    i think theres a lot of first that i have to go out there and experience and ive been held back from them due to the fact when i was suppose to be having them, i was sick in the hospital and not being able to live my golden teenage life  lol.  AHHHHH  i'll figure it out. soon i hope.

This week shall be more productive

So today, i went out i actually got off my ass hehe.  i went out and got my little flyer copied.  turned out better than i thought.   so i brought them home and i folded the bottoms and cut them so the little tabs can just be ripped off without ripping the whole thing apart lol.  so tomorrow i think ill go around and put some up,  hopfully ill get at least one new customer out of it :o)  I think i'll also go out and hand out some resumes this week.  a little part time job would be great i think.    i also have to get a lil flyer done up to get our basement room rented out.  im pretty nervous about that.  its going to be hard but i think we'll get through it lol.  i hope.  ok im sorry does anyone watch making the band 2?  i catch it once in a while and this whole chopper/babs thing, they're cute together.  and the way they totally look at eachother total puppy love.  and babs is talkin outta her ass lol.  shes totally playin games, or just doesnt know she likes him yet.   anyways i have things in my mind to write but i forget at the moment and im tired so ill talkie laters!   oh and i found lisas paints in about 5 minutes today (rolls eyes)

sunny sundays

today i accomplished absolutely nothing!    i pruned a rose bush and i had a shower that was my day.  oh wait i put dishes away and changed the garbage does that count?  hehe i dunno just didnt have anything to accompplish today i guess.  tomorrow the plan is to go out and get some advertising out for my catering and maybe ill look around for lisas paint.  cause well its now been a year that she hasnt organized any of her crap and now she cant find anything.  maybe she'll get that one day.  im so excited though!  were planning a trip to old quebec city for august or september.  how much fun is that going to be!  i havent been in like over 10 years. i cant wait!  i think i want to find someone to come us with though.  who knows.  it might also just be nice to just be the two of us.  ah well shall see, what she wants as well :op  omg im so starving.  oh well.  okie so blah i feel tired now so im gonna go.  maybe if my life gets eventful these will be a lil better soon.  oh anyone wanna rent a room?  lol

weird weekends

what a weird day ive had.  starts off 9:00am laying in bed i have another hour til i HAVE to get up.  cant sleep, but man did i want to!  so sat for about 20 minutes and my darling sisters were at me how it takes me three hours to get ready to go.  hello?!  since when is 10 minutes in the shower 5 minutes for clothing and 10 for make up 3 hours?    if i take three hours laura must take like 50 hours!  so we went to mom and dads and were there for 10:30.  waited for 45 minutes.  then we finally left.  three hours in the car with mom, dad, lisa and laura.  lisa and laura both being in the "omg i dont wanna be here so ill take it out on everyone mode."  so yeah fun for Leanne.  so finally we arrive in bobcaygen.  population 2500.  wow fun.  u know the song by the hip called bobcaygen?  ya its actually a place.  might i add with Kwartha Dairy Ice Cream.  now as most of u know for about a year now i've been dying for this ice cream!  its the best in the world!    so creamy and yummy.  and as most of u know how much i love my ice cream.  so laura and i have been looking foward to this all day.  the day was not about the two hour 90th birthday party for my step grandfather.  oh no!  it was about gettin the ice cream, packed the cooler and all!  i dunno who was more excited laura and i or dad!  mom of course stayed in the car!  So after about 20 minutes of sitting in the car mom was like what the hells going on.  well let me tell ya!  when u drive 6 hours for ice cream u better take ur time in deciding what to take home with u!  so it ended up that they had no moose tracks.  i was a lil upset about this!  but thats ok!  i ended up getting cookiees and cream.  lisa ended up getting the new maple sugar something or other dad got the the big 11.4 litre tub of pralines and cream and a mint choco chip and laura got well i have no clue.  so we went to the cash and all the girl said was wow u guys really like ur ice cream!  lol  duh!  i think shes gotten rather spoiled in the fact that shes a local and doesnt know what we have to put up with around here! in the "big city"    so we came home three hours later, all a little worried about melting ice cream.  but it made it.  we walked in the door while mom was talking to the girls that were looking after the dog, we emptied the cooler.  dad pulled out the pralines and cream and we all grabbed a spoon and started eatting this ice cream.  then realized we were being stared at by these girls and apologized "oh sorry do u want to have some ice cream"  i think they think were kinda a crazy family now.  but well we are.  but it was so heavenly!  so then came home an hour later lisa and i went back out to barangas for her friend lisas birthday and now were home.  and i have to go to bed cause i think im just really beat.  so night!

*ho hum*

So lets see, whats up with this new blog thing?  its throwin me off.  (maybe i can just see this)  anyways, so whats up with today.  well i rolled outta bed this morning.  Then i went to DQ with kyle, then came home and ive been watching friends season 2 all afternoon lol.  lisa came home and made fun of me.  but this is what happens when jen gives me the seasons to watch lol.  good thing shes only got 3 and im on two hehe.  so lets see, what else...  tomorrow i go to bobcaygon.  oh so much fun three hours in the car with my lovely family for two hours of hell with my grandmother who hates me as i do her, then another three hours on the way home.  so much fun!  but, i do get my long awaited kwaratha dairy ice cream.   how excited am i about getting the one scoop of yummy goodness!  Such little things make me happy lol.   I would definately put that on my top 5  comfort foods.  Mom asked me that the other day.  what my top 5 comfort foods are.  i couldnt tell her just 5.  maybe if i  put them in catagories.  1 being everything grandma makes.  2 being restaurants 3 beinging desserts.  hehe   i think life has too many choices that i just love.  *other thoughts on that subject*   k back to reality here...  so i really dont have much to say tonight cause ive spent like an hour writing this when it takes me like 5 minutes.  so hopfully ill have something better tomorrow after my day of hell. oh and james..  babe i miss ya, u need to get down here for a weekend! 

Random Guy who are you?!

today was eventful. i woke up, some hours passed. actually extremely fast. 3:55 came around and i went to mickey d's and got a big mac meal. i came home and sarah was waiting for me at the door. 4pm right on time. i was shocked! so she and i worked on leightons scrapbook for a couple hours. i tried to get some story parts done as she and i also did the title page and talked about the cover. then i took her home around 6. came on the computer for about an hour an a half i guess. Talked to Luc, Rob and Rob. all very chatty today. I like talking to Luc, such a cutie that guy is, and hes never on. I keep trying to drag him out with me and friends. maybe one day i'll accomplish this. so then i went at about 8 to the bank and to pick up jen. we went to see spiderman 2. but jen was afraid it would be packed so we went about an hour or so early. ended up waiting in line for an hour after we had the tickets cause we were so ealry. us and oh 5 other people. but behind us in line was this kid and his mother. i think he must have been about 6 or 7. very mature for his age. his mother left to do something for like 30 minutes. jen and i kept an eye on him but the poor kid! he was starting to panic i swear. i was starting to panic for him. as jen and i left our seats one at a time we'd look for her and this poor kid was going back and forth looking for his mother. but his mom came back right before the movie started. jen and i were very relieved cause if she hadn't come back we were going to do something. how can parents do that?! anyways, so then as i was getting my glosette peanuts, jen told me a random guy had asked her to save just the one seat infront of us. and she was like just the one? he said ya. jen and i thinking that was rather odd cause its not like it was the last seat in the place. we called him random guy. so he comes back about 5 minutes before the movie, and jens like thats random guy. i was like jen! u didnt tell me it was random cutie guy! like geesh! so then of course me being me, it was driving me nuts, why is this guy at a movie all by himself sitting beside lost his mother kid. but he was talkin to the kid and askin if his mom came back and stuff, at that time she had. and i was like omg jen! lol she laughed at me and said ya just control. so i told her hes probably gay. cause for some reason i can certainly pick them! so we watched the movie, as i glanced at cutie random guy once in a while, he was completely liking movie as was i. much better than the first i think but maybe cause i didnt see the first one on the big screen. who knows. so movie ended, i saw mister cutie before standing up but didnt see him after that. i was rather tempted to talk to him before the movie to, he seemed so nice. hes gay i know it. well i guess thats it for now. im kinda tired and i have a stressful day of mom tomorrow! so im off.

*yawn*

so, 11:30pm this is my exciting life. Eating Guylian chocolates and mmm finally having a vanilla almond coffee... yes ill be up all night now. but i finally have my coffee. so whats on my mind today. well lets see i woke up didnt do much for hours finally decided to have a shower and go to moms. that was just so much fun. trying to work on a flyere of sorts for posting for catering. ever friggin two minutes leann come here leanne come here... MOM NO! that didnt even get through to her so i ended up completely ignoring her the whole time. it was a very painful hour lol. but i got it done had to listen to babble for 10 minutes and came home just in time for jason not to come over. so i made dinner for lisa and i just some taters, chicken and feta and tomatoes. then went to shoppers bought toothpaste chocolate and headed to mickey d's for two sundaes for lisa and i. and thats the story of my life. tomorrow i think ill take the flyer down and get it copied. maybe post some. anyways my eyes are killing me so im gonna watch sex in the city and go to bed. so goodnight world.

In the words of K-OS

Heaven only knows
uh uh
Cuz I don't understand
understand
Won't you tell me please
tell me please
What's the master plan
master plan
Spent so many days
many days
Sitting on a cloud
sitting on a cloud
Heaven only knows
only god knows
So I'll just move the crowd

I break out my physical shell,And excel past the so called body
Used to go to the party, But now I sit and chill with the pen and the pad
Dropping ill philisophical science, Me and my dad we talk about life
And how it started, How we departed from lights path
And probable right math, The task at hand is making people understand that we're not who we Think we are
Within this land of lost the cost of souls could be so high, People be getting high wondering why we die
But it's all planned, To get your fear take the hand
We keep on returning because the lessons need learning, Concerning the fact
I sing and I rap, I hold this mic contact
Critics can step back and analize, I energise with cosmic rays of days
There ain't no ??? ??? of the sun

heaven only knows,cuz I don't understand
don't undertand, wont you tell me please
cuz I pray every day, whats the master plan
the master plan, spent so many days
many days, sitting on a cloud
sitting on a cloud, heaven only knows
only god knows, so I'll just move the crowd

yo
riddle me this
riddle me this
like this

melodical prodigal flows, hypnotical blows to brain pieces
telekenisis, when I reach this pinnacle cynical clinical
microphone autobots waiting on lotto spots, trying to rock
but yo they can't understand, there's only one plan
the time is at hand, in the year two zero one one, the people of the sun return to free the righteous children
now!, I know you want to be on top of the world, giving a diamond and pearl to your girl watching your jacuzi swirl
seems like material lust, we need to look up to the heavens for imperial trust
me!, it's kinda hard when you rhyme sometimes, everybody wants to scrutinize
redifine who you are, but every person is a star
so let your light shine far, and praise god

heaven only knows, only knows
cuz I don't understand, don't understand now
wont you tell me please, tell me please
whats the master plan, I wanna know the plan
spent so many days, many days
sitting on a cloud, sitting on a cloud
heaven only knows, so I'll just move the crowd

if you feel this
sing it with me like
sing it with me like
sing it with me like

la la la lala lala
I'll just move the crowd for now

gotta move the crowd
gotta move the crowd
gotta move the crowd

la la la lala lala
I'll just move the crowd for now

its starting to get over baring...

fears have taken over again. i dont know what to do. im fearing so maybe things at the moment. fearing meeting people cause i dont want to be hurt again. fearing that im stuck in one place. i need something someone. change. i dont know where to go what to do. im afraid im going to get unhappy. i cant be unhappy but i know if i go on like i am i will be. i'll never have my restaurant, family etc. that also brings me to the job. my mother keeps buggin my how i need to be going out and getting one. im terrified really. im so afraid from the last one and that ive lost touch with whats out there. im afraid ill be too slow, or not strong enough etc.. im afraid of so many things right now. i wish there was someone to be by my and let me know it'll be ok. i think im also lonely... (u think leanne?) i think ive been lonely ever since i was 16 or so. i wanted outta the house i wanted my restaurant a car and family. that was it i was going get it all. i need that restaurant and that person now. it would be really nice. really nice. but then i have to think omg look what ive done at the age of 23 and what ive been through. ive done so much yet i feel like im so behind. i think its cause my parents are really worrying about it too. but its not like i can talk to mom about it. cause well thats just not possible. maybe that will be my goal this week. i need to find something. and not an excuse.

im so hungry....

12:08am, ive been up for 3 hours. *yawn* what have i done.. well i had a shower, came to moms, took the dogs out and now i sit here getting very hungrey and thinking of a nap.. oh wait i should feed maddie... brb omg i love this song. (dying in ur arms tonight one) so k we'll see how much i can type before maddies finished eatting and attacks me. so so far so many things going through my head. 1 being yet another wedding im gonna have to go to. Family friends kid, Aiden is getting married.. being attacked hold on. okie so ya Aiden ive known all my life, kinda a hottie that one and super sweet but never really got to see him much. but what is with everyone getting married?! im going nuts lol.. its like a write off, check wont hear from them anymore! oh well. im sure it'll be a nice wedding whenever it may be. then theres LEighton. miss him. funny how hes the one that said at the airport , "so now ill go and u wont talk to me again" Leighton hello?! talk about totally reverse on that one! i may have talked to him once in the past month?! *sigh* oh well... just know that i miss him! im listening to wild 80's lunch. i thikn the radio kinda sucks through lunch hours dont ya think? its all retro.. which i dont mind if they're the songs i like lol which most of the time theyre ones ive never heard before. i sound bitter this morning lol... in like an hour i have to go pick up sarah to work on our scrapbook. i hope we think of a lot of stuff today. i like working on this book its fun! anyways i guess i should go take the puppies for a walk or something. im sure if something happens the rest of the day ill write more :)

pamper me silly

today today what did i do today.. well i had a fab day today i guess. even though i woke up super tired, and actually my eyes are starting to hurt again so im gonna make this quick. i woke up, and came on the computer for a while, had my shower. went and picked up jen for 1. then we went to future shop in ancaster. she bought another friends season. yay jen! hehe and lets see then we went to burlington mall and split some NY fries. so good. then i had an appointment at Julies Salon place thingy. got a manicure and pedicure done. om it was so nice. i must say all men or women need to do this for themselves. as i said today it should be a medical write off. its totally relaxing and u feel like 100 bucks after! its so nice and its so good for u. i havent had any of this dont in about two years and it was so great! also ive had one back massage in my life and let me tell u, if u've ever had back problems, its worth going! its heaven, my back didnt bug me for monthes after i got that done. trust me! if spending a lil money helps me from future pain/medical problems i urge u to go out and do these things for urself. even if its like once a year. anyways.. then what did jen and i do.. oh! i got my hair done. it was a full pamper day for lil me today. i almost fell asleep i swear when she was doing my hair. it was great. then we came home (to my place) and i made perogies and mmm so good. then took jen jen home and have been veggin ever since. now i should probably go cause i gotta get up to go to moms to look after the puppies tomorrow. theyre so cute! and im working on my scrapbook for leighton with sarah tomorrow. should be fun. so goodnight moon. oh! and did i mention walmart? ya i went a lil movie crazy. i bought snatch! WOOHOO! best movie. and i bought memphis belle and hmmm ian thornlys new cd (10 bucks!) umm lets see what else.. oh spiderman on vhs the first one so i can see the second... and socks and i think i got one more dvd but i forget...brokendown palace! very good movies i think. lol anyways night.

broken again...

yet again... its happened. someone finds u talk and talk and i really feel like this one is different, sweet, kind then bam! the sex talk comes up and thats the only thing they wanted the whole time. man does that break my heart. and u guys wonder why i have this block up when i meet new people? cause everytime it comes to this and i leave broken from it. this time its really hurt me. or maybe ive just become more weakened and cry a lot easier. lol who knows. i just know im sick of it. and broken am i... again. it never fails.

ahhh weddings...

so lets see.. ceremony was good. not too long. then went for munchies on the danforth with mo, dad lisa and laura. i was pretty starving at the point. lisa and i got an antipasto plate to share and before i could finsh, cause im so bloody slow, mom had devoured the plate. was a tad upset cause well after eatting only two lil pieces of garlic bread with hummus, i was still a little hungry. oh well. so then we went to the reception, and was the first ones there. so i was the first to sign the guest book :op hehehe... so then we found out that lisa, laura and i were placed at the "kids table" meaning people from the ages 16-22 and us being 23-26 i really dont think were kids anymore. but thats my opinion. thats ok i met a girl that lived in hamilton and knows rob and kyle from school so that was kinda cool.. i forget who she was though? maybe i should look into that but she definately still knows rob. we'll that would be the impression i get. considering she said to her b/f that she has to meet rob. rob why are u known so much? so then dinner came and stuff. it was good. chicken was dry. but always is. people are so afraid of chicken being underdone. people once its cooked and served hot there is nothing to be worried about! even if i was not fully cook, the internal temp that was reached kills the bacterias etc... so just relax about it! lol *sorry* anyways, so ya then we did the speechs etc and i danced with mom and laura and that wwas about it, oh ya talked to kirk (the groom) then his sister laura. so these people moms known probabl around 25-30 years. so all my life ive known these people and all night i felt like they just totally ignored, like we were chasing them just to say hi. i dunno. maybe its just the world now. oh well. it was an alright day. guess too many weddings for me lately. lol. now im gonna get all sad watching sweet november and going to sleep cause ive run out of things to say. night :op

sunbeams dance like little fireflies...

i lay in bed. look at the clock. 2 more hours til i have to get up. why does this always happen? my eyes are tired but i cant sleep. not even lisas up yet and she has to be at work in less than an hour. i shut my eyes and turn over. why am i so hot? get these covers off of me! now im cold. hot. cold. ahhh! the wind keeps blowing my blind agains my star lights so they fall against thw wood. everything is become increasingly annoying. a voice "lee where are ur keys?" i reply "downstairs" "lee think where they are" im thinking alright, im thinking why do i need to know this right now its friggin not even 7am. "i dunno the valet key is on the coffee table" i havent even open my eyes yet. i listen as lisa goes to my car comes back in, silence. then the front door shuts. i lay in bed a little more. just sleep. i cant. roll over its 7:15. ahh god. well thats it i cant sleep and laura will be here in two hours for breakfast. might as well get up and have coffee. everything is still a blur. wonder downstairs. lisas left me little notes on my computer. i like little notes. even if it is just about money. ill have to start leaving her little good morning notes before she goes to work. so i turn the computer on. wow 3 people online. 2 more than i thought! gwt up and make coffee. finally ive figured out my coffee maker. how much coffee to water. vanilla hazelnut this morning. tastes so good. medium double double of that? yes please! so now i sit listening to nina gordon, the song james just sent me, with pork chop skwaking in the background and the sound of the fish tank filter cause there isnt enough water. oh and bird chirpping from outside. its amazing what u can hear in the morning, when all u want is quiet. i love sitting here though in the livingroom. with my window. watch morning people walk by. the suns glisening through my front door through the trees. do you think mian desserts is open? i want cheesecake lol. another hour and ill have breakfast. i dont understand but when i wake up so early im always starving when i get up. im kinda excited abuot this day. laura and i dont really get to spend time together. well cause we usually fight with other people around truthfully. so ive learned to keep my mouth shut at most family functions. but it'll be nice, we'll go for breakfast then head out to hagersville area and look at houses. although it would probably be sensable to call a real esate agent and have them book a few houses or something. but thats ok. i like driving and its time with laura, on a subject i have a little knowledge about. now i guess ill look up houses and go have my shower. everyone have a good day if u read this before it ends.