fuckin great! lol

ok so lets start with my weekend. I worked on saturday. Sunday woke up planning to sit on my butt all day, and have mom drive me completely insane with her drinking. Just as she started that I left the house and went to yorkdale. called Hakan and he met me at the mall. wonderful day as per usual spending time with him! got home around 1 am. That boy pooped me right out with walking everywhere! but needless to say I need it and it was great!

Monday Karim got his net back. I spent about 4 hours talking to him which was great. People always ask what we talk about but I can't honestly say. Everything maybe? lol I don't know but there isn't a gap in conversation. I'm getting so excited to go. The only thing making me nervous was the money. Not having enough to spend while i'm there. But! Never fear!

Today Lisa gave dad a piece of mail to give to me. Ut was from odsp. with a very nice cheque in it. now I'm not suppose to tell anyone and blah blah blah, but thank bahjesus! I swear everything in my life at the moment is saying do this trip, it's ment for you to go. Well baby I'm going!! Thank you very much!! lol Oddly today mom asked me if anyone was lined up for me to marry lol... very odd. There is nothing more I want to do but to tell mom more about Karim. That hes possible more Shes just so stupidly judgemental and against anything but the typical white boy. I dunno maybe the timing will just come about... the day I leave lol...

Anyways I'm so happy I can relax a little! YAY! *eats cookies*

maybe im going insane.. or maybe i need a vacation

January 10th... 2 months 3 weeks until i go away.. i am so super excited!! i booked this trip needing time away. and I'm going to get it and so much more! since i booked it and by booking a tour it took all my worries away, safety etc. I'm about to kill laura though,she keeps telling me what to do and what not to do, yet shes planning a trip to new zeland, and doesn't listen to a word i have to say. i got really frustrated tonight when every time i talked about something i was over talked or shot down by her. i want to get excited about it and everything but my family just isn't letting me. I'm dealing with my sickness and that i am weaker than most, but why can't everyone else just treat me like i treat myself? I'm so excited about Karim as well. he really puts me first in the way he talks and treats me, and it just makes me happy. if anything becomes of us, I'm really afraid of the judgment people will put on him because of moe. even though Karim is nowhere near what moe was because he's Muslim/middle eastern people compare, and i feel bad for that. We'll see. The other thing is I'm going to be away for Lisa's 30th birthday. it makes me sad. I know what I'm getting her and everything, but it's a pretty big birthday for her and I wanted to be here for her. And who else is going to throw her a big birthday bash? lol

On another note... this week I had a freak out on Timmy. He wanted to talk to me about a friend.. again.. I kinda blew up at him cause I'm a little tired of Timmy and his over dramatic problems. I'm a strong believer that u cause the problems is your life yourself and by what you do and you can control how you handle things. so timmy has these friend that confide in him and pretty much use him, and he does the same thing again when he can. At the beginning of this friendship to this person I told him this person was going to be all drama and i didnt think he should need that in his life. Well i was right again... In my blow up at him, he said well we have to learn from our mistakes. but he doesn't cause he does the exact same thing 10 times over. it is so frustrating! I wish he would just wake up and maybe try and listen.

ok no more of that crap... Dads got me working for his company now. I work with theresa. So I put billing into the computer. I must being doing a good job cause she wants me to do more. shes going to train me how to do more, so i can do some of her "little" projects she just hasn't had the time to do. I'm kinda excited and nervous. But dad is all excited, cause now he has all his girls working for him. I find it kinda funny. it takes this for dad to be excited about something. But thats all good i just hope i can hold up to the job for him and not disappoint like i always feel i do around here. (no i'm not trying to be negative, but i don't know the last time my parents were excited for me) anyways, i'm going to go to bed now cause the sooner i sleep the sooner i can talk to karim :D