its love.. no its hate...
this weather! what is up with it?! today i left work in burlington at 6:15m i got home at 7:30. i was going 10-20 km/hr i love snow and cold but not when im stuck on the qew in the middle of the storm. it wasnt fun. then mom phones to tell me the roads are bad when she hasnt been out of the house in like three or four days. thanks for the tip mom! i really appreciate that! So finally make it home, have a tea, and some weiners and beans minus the weiners. mom of course had been drinking before i come home and sarts a conversation with herself and responding to herself in the other room. then shes crying. and still talking to herself. i've learned not to ask when she has these minor breakdowns cause somehow i end up at the root of it, and some how because im born her life is over. i think its selfish of her. i know im mean... but my mother gets whatever she wants. she was "retired" at 45 got really bored and started to drink. then blamed everything on me when i got sick and grandma died. Im sorry if my mothers depressed, angry, over weight, whatever. but if shes not looking for the pity or the attention she would do something about it. she has everything she'd ever want, if she doesn't she has the money to do/or get it. people work and work hard for things in life that mom doesn't even flinch to get. i don't feel bad for her.
I deal with my mother some days are better than others, but most of the time i avoid her. I'm trying to live my life happily. i would love to have a better relationship with her I want to tell her everything and have the support of her. I don't so i go to my friends. now at this point I want to tell her things that are in my future or what i believe is happening and I can't. It really sucks. I'm sure on here I've been bitching about my mother a lot lately. Probably because I havent been out of the house much. and to anyone that reads this i'm sorry, but i need to clear my mind of these things lol.
I think its more of me realizing that I really can't talk to her. Sure theres always been the "oh i cant tell her anything" but now Theres things she needs to hear and I can't tell her. help? someone?
I deal with my mother some days are better than others, but most of the time i avoid her. I'm trying to live my life happily. i would love to have a better relationship with her I want to tell her everything and have the support of her. I don't so i go to my friends. now at this point I want to tell her things that are in my future or what i believe is happening and I can't. It really sucks. I'm sure on here I've been bitching about my mother a lot lately. Probably because I havent been out of the house much. and to anyone that reads this i'm sorry, but i need to clear my mind of these things lol.
I think its more of me realizing that I really can't talk to her. Sure theres always been the "oh i cant tell her anything" but now Theres things she needs to hear and I can't tell her. help? someone?
