a day in the life...

i keep looking at this and wanting to write but i dont know what to say. i find myself on so many ups and down lately i dont know where to turn. i think most of the downs are men. ive figuring out from my 20 something year old friends to my 40 something year old friends, theyre all the same in a different body. i want to just slap them and be like are u stupid? get over urselves and think of other people for a change. i want to go out and have fun again. what happend to fun in my life? maybe the bills and the house, money, the car, money boys, money, my future all got in the way. so im thinking new years is coming up right? lol by the way do u know i love greys anatomy.

my brain is close to popping!

okie so this one is dedicated to shagamuffin LOL This evening Jen, Sarah and I went to the outback for dinner. i had aussie cheese fries btw which are sooooo yummy! yet so back for u! anyways! after dinner since we were up on the mountian i decided to go and get some diesel while we were up there. since the shell at rymal and upper james has "super diesel" i prefer that for my baby :) so i fill 'er up and go to pay. the guy at the cash is like 40ish middle eastern guy that i've had before, he seemed pretty nice and sweet. UNTIL TONIGHT! lol he totally hit on me. he told me when he worked and that he missed me last time i filled up etc... i was like ya i don't come that often cause well my car is a diesel i don't need to fill it up that much. so then he starts askin me if i live up on the mountian and everything and why im up there etc.. then it hit me that omg hes hitting on me lol... so of course i was all polite and crap and made conversation but omg! guy ur like 40 years old! I'm 25.. yes i like my men older and no i dont mind being friends with people of that age but really... i don't think i look old do i? no. i didnt think so. now that i know his schedule is 6-12 weekdays its note and i will fill up on weekends lol or through the day!

on the other hand i think its national "men are assholes" month. i seriously don't get why this has happened to me, but all the men in my life have decided that theyre going to push Leannes buttons for some reason to get her upset. and they know theyre doing it cause it they know i get upset. so why? why in general do people do this? i think once or twice in 8 years of knowing jen ive done something to get to her because i really don't understand the point of it. is it to make me jealous? because if it is, its not working! it just upsets me and makes me not want to talk to u. so grow up and stop it all!

Now on the happier side of life... work is going well. im going to start to try and take a new medication that i should of been on for the past 10 years. im hoping i wont get sick from it. mom and i have decided that christmas is at my house this year. im very happy to be doing that! (i get the leftovers teehee) and lisas away this weekend so i think im going to clean a little and just relax in a bath etc... mayybe even turn off the phones and computer for two days straight? no i think thats a little drastict! lol now i have to go take off make up and go to bed with my boyfriend romeo! hehe ahhh to sleep! such a joyful event!

back again?

hello again! so i do apologize for the lack in blogginig. if anyone is still around for me to write to hehe. I've been busy but not really at the same time. since april my life has been to its highest high and beyond low. back again and now i think im getting back to somewhat normal. but left hurt and feeling worthless. a lot of music by the fray and snow patrol mixed in there. my dating life has been somewhat crazy so im taking a step back. im just sick of the lies u men feed minute after minute. (and yes leanne is bitter and stereotyping on this one cause u really are all have proven to be the same about this) so im not putting up with it anymore. done and done.

for the rest of it, my jenjen got a new job at CIBC. I'm so happy for her! even though i'll never see her and already miss her like crazy! were going to have to work something out to see eachother like every two weeks or something. i'm also looking to move out by the spring. im not sure if lisa and mom get this point since they keep talking about years down the road. but we'll see. i just cant afford to be here on this budget anymore. i think its time for me to take care of me and stop thinking how its going to effect everyone elses life. if i can do this. im not sure yet hehe.

so lets see what else.. plans before winter, if anyone want to join me im going to montreal, with a stop over in ottawa to see alli then over to see sam. new tires and magically make money appear to do all this lol. also ponder the thought of going to edmonton for a year.

I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a cue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears