boys..

So today was a semi eventful.  i basically drove from dundas to burlington to ancaster to hamilton putting up my lil catering flyers at grocery store where i could.  (note to all fortinos do not have a bulletin boards)  so that was about 2 and a half hours of my time.  came home, did stuff around the house, watched tv had some convos with people on msn and then went out with timmy for the evening.  decided the topic of the day in a weird way, weird being that everyone was kinda talkin to me about it, was boys and girls.  Why do we not get the oppisite sex?  i think in this area i can read people pretty well.  except men.  they have the curve ball effect with me.  u think ur on the right track then they totally change direction on you.  and i must admit somehow its based on sex lol.  and no i cant really explain that one.  maybe i can.  maybe it goes a little like, ur a great friend, but if ur not gonna give the guy sex after like seeing them twice it kinda dwindles down to oh u'll be around when i want u to be.  maybe on doesnt have to do with the other but, i dont care im sayin whats on my mind lol.  and i guess it has to do with guys.  :op i hate the games i really do.  then u find someone who u love for the mind but theres just something missing and i find theres something wrong with me because i think that.  and its sooooo  frustrating!  Like here i am 23 years old, my last boyfriend was in highschool, and well was jason actually a boyfriend? lol   one of my best friends yes.   so its been 6 years.  6 long years, and these people come in and out of my life and im still alone.  then i start thinking theres something wrong with me.  maybe im just afraid.  or maybe im just like everyone else and just havent found that "one"  i dunno, but i know i hate it.    i think theres a lot of first that i have to go out there and experience and ive been held back from them due to the fact when i was suppose to be having them, i was sick in the hospital and not being able to live my golden teenage life  lol.  AHHHHH  i'll figure it out. soon i hope.