im really that disposable eh?

So, kay im really upset. maybe cause i didnt think jason would actually stoop to that level. i know hes one to run away from his problems but i dunno maybe after 8 years, i thought i was something more to him. all week ive had this thought in the back of my mind that jason has put me on block, cause its jason, unless on vacation or dead, hes not away from the computer. so i went on my other msn, and oh there it be jason online. so i asked james, silly me, should of guessed he would do the same to james. so i asked leighton if jason was on his list. wow, i think im in a state of shock. no im hurt. i was hurt about the fact that he didnt show for the catering job. u know typical jason thing, just say u forgot, but really didnt want to come. fine i can handle that. but when u put me on block because ur trying to avoid something?! thats just not right in any way. by now he should know, im a person of few words, i get my point across and i dont yell nor do i get upset when infront of people. infact jen kept telling me i cant just do nothing this time and i need to say something, about how friends dont do that to friends etc... well guess what its gone to another level that i dont think anyone does to anyone especially when u havent even talked about why the other person may be upset with you. but hey i guess im just like the rest in that i can be tossed to the side and forgotten about. fine. and jason if u read this. good i had to let u know how u've made me felt, and if u dont talk to me i can handle that, god only know ive gone threw enough crap, i can still keep my head high. but you've hurt me to the point i just dont know what to say, and to the point where i'll probably cry over this when it settles in a couple days. congrats.

p.s Merry Christmas