what am i doing?

ok thats it, im falling apart. its happening again. im trying to put up a block and its not working. im sinkning and fast, and i think its gonna hurt. and i have no one to catch me. how do i change the way i think? maybe cause i dont get what im doing wrong. if i could understand that, then i think id be good. i could figure it out. it might take a few years but one day i wont cry. i dont expect much out of my life. i just want to be happy and have someone to be happy with. im 23 years old and dame it i just want some lovin! i want to work on my catering. thats it. i just dont think its that hard. is it?