that girl, shes bad! stay away from her!

friday night. oh i have the life! in pajamas at 7, curled up on the couch making a grocery list, listening to music. I remember in highschool, every friday night paula and i would have something to do. never home. out at 7 home at 1 or 2am. doing what? who knows but we were always out. you always had back up back then too. you little, or big group of friends, when if plans fell through with one you could rely on the next to get out. the best part was it didnt cost anything! we were never bored. we were either just hangin out somewhere, going to a movie, driving listening to music, just talking in the car. it didnt matter what we did we were always out. i miss that, to say the least. i never understand what happens to everyone, where do we go? it seems the good friends i had almost disowned me because i left a year early, only because i didnt do oac. people are constantly saying leanne its not u its them. but if its not me why is it only happening to me? at least it feels that way. ever since i was little all my best friends, had issues with me, or at least their parents. it was always "Leanne isnt a good influence on you" can i ask why the hell not? lol omg she says what she feels! thats bad, never be like her! i just don't understand it. ahh well... anyways, so since this weekend is the anniversary of my grandmothers death i just find myself looking back. in three years i've come so far. something that seemed so impossible is reality now! it crazy! if i look back four years, mom was at the point of thinking i was going to die, i was so sick, grandma was getting sick, and mom and i were about to kill eachother we had it with eachother. now i have a house, free of mom and i think have really come into my own. which has been the greatest thing ive ever done for me. now im left here thinking where am i going? i guess its what some may call another milestone in my life eh? too many things to think about so im off to bed and hopfully i'll sleep! :)