just another day..

so, im watching oprah today. its the saddest episode ever! anyone who watches oprah know of nate the cutie designer. as i just learned from this show hes gay, and his partner and him were in sir lanka when the tsunami hit. and somehow he survived and his partner is still missing. anyways, just really sad. i've had some complaints that i havent been writing lately so im going to try my best and write more :o) i'm also sick again which doesnt put my brain in the right space. i don't knkow whats wrong with me. a cold or something. friday at around 8 i got a sore throat by midnight i couldnt talk. since then my voice hasnt been 100% and i've been really tired. so who knows. hopefully having the flu then having whatever i have now will cure me for the rest of the year hehe. so i've kinda been spending some time on the computer and such, and i've had a few new people message me on icq. im not sure why i even load that up anymore, well no thats not true, ive met a lot of great people on icq. some i've met and some yet to been seen in different countries. but majority, are boys usually between 19 and 23 messaging me. i've keep saying this one will be different. but no even if they start off really nice in this conversation they always want sex of some sort. i seriously give up. like i swear theres one in a million people i talk to on there. for some reason i keep replying (after checking their info) maybe because ive met some great people like leighton, and talk to cae 4 years later, maybe i still have that hope that not everyone is sex obsessed lol. i just don't get how these people can just find someone out of the blue and be like hey lets meet and have some sex. i guess it actual works for some. anyways. i guess last night i really felt sad. when i get sick, i get lonely cause i just want to snuggle up to someone, that will just take care of me and snuggle up to me when i sleep. i hate it totally lol. ahh well im sure im not the only one. just a lot of issues on my mind really all circling around relationships. like when i went to clinic the other day and my doctor asked me if i was getting married lol. i guess it was her way of bringing up sex and getting pregnate. and then going over to my mothers and her telling me omg when did her baby get to be turning 24. and bugging me about kids and relationships. then after that its kinda hit me. omg im going to be 24 in may, and i havent been in a relationship since i was in highschool, if i can even call it a relationship. i'd call it more of asking to be my friend. lol. if thats what i was/is. oh well, i guess its just something time will take care of right? i hope so. :) anyways, i guess i should find some sorta supper.