broken hearted moment..

Today my heart officially broke. I'm not sure if its cause I'm so tired from falling asleep last night at 4:30am or if I'm completely crushed by Cae having a girlfriend and not telling me. I had a gut feeling something was up. I normally do. He gets rather distant with me. But its bothersome when we were talking about the matter like last week and he didnt tell me. As JenJen told me tonight I should go with my gut cause it's normally right. I agree. I'm just going to talk to him on Monday if i see him. Clear things in my head before I go up north. I'm pretty excited about that. Tuesday to Saturday, Jen, her b/f Andre, his friend and her cousin Sarah (which I'm also friends with) are heading up north. I shall be fun! i can't wait actually. I think I might be in a drunken stooper for a week for the first time in my life lol. Just kidding. I think I'm handling this well. although this weekend I'm left to my own devices since Lisas gone to the cottage this weekend. I guess I'll clean. Try and make sense of thoughts. I have to stop caring so much I think. In the back of my head I know I live here and hes there. But don't tell me what I want to hear. Tell me whats going on I'm not going anywhere. God 6 years later, I'm not going anywhere... I deserve at least a fighting chance at my hearts feelings don't I?? Oh well.